Dear Diary: You Had Me

We looked into each other's eyes. How you found your way to me, in the dark corner, is still a mystery. You entered the room and made your way to me, eyes on the prize. I think I was the prize, I'm not really sure. Maybe I was just your best bet for an actual conversation, and not just a night of nonsensical slurring gibberish. At long last, you arrived in front of me. You had me at "Hello"...not really. 

You never had me at all. To have me, you would actually have to say "Hello". You never said "Hello" or any other words of greeting, or any words at all. All I get from you are those stares, those eyes that follow me all the way home and still make my skin crawl, my body get warm, my stomach tingle and my heart drop in anticipation. In anticipation of what, I know not, since I've waited many years and it seems more  years of vain impatience are to come. 

I need something from you and I have no idea what it is. Some validation that I haven't simply built this whole relationship in my head, I guess. I wanted to make sure today. I wanted to talk. That didn't happen. You only come ever so often (never), and I just wanted a word. Something. Time ticked away, making me a little later for the next class because my whole being was hungry for a sign. And that's when I realized I was among a bunch of these girls, just waiting to lay themselves at your feet. I was never going to through myself in your arms, that was a given. 

However, I was the last fan to leave.