I've always been the sheltered type. That's why I expect nothing less than having many steamy affairs with several of my male professors in university once I'm a freshman. I also expect some heavy drinking and a drug intake that would make Whitney Houston look good. (No offense Whit, I'll always love you too).Being sheltered so much has put a real brake on the development of my social skills. In brief, I am headed for the nunnery or a cave in some far away forest to start my life as a hermit if I don't act fast.
So I did what I thought normal people do when they don't know how to hit it off socially. In my quasi non-existent catalog of boys I know, I chose the ones I would consider reproducing with. Then, it was a process of elimination, kind of like a multiple choice life or death pop quiz: who had terrible hygiene, who couldn't carry a conversation to save his life, who I would be embarrassed to bring home for Christmas if things were to go too well, who I'd have to kick myself not to set on fire...
And then, there was one name left. Joy! Contentment Satisfaction! The next step was clear: ask the guy out! We were on lukewarm terms, he wasn't the athletic type I always saw myself with (I want to be picked up and thrown around caveman style people!) and he lived abroad. However, he was the intellectual type, a musician and had a different kind of beauty only certain people can truly admire. My type of boy. After a sleepless night and a 5 hour conversation with an insomniac friend, the perfect message was created (her idea, not mine):
Me (7:48 AM)
Hi. I heard you were back in the city, wanna grab some sushi?
Him (11:35AM, same day)
[message has been viewed]
I kid you not. This is as far as it's gotten until now. Tomorrow is Friday. What did I do wrong? Was the hip wording not correct? Or did the purposely bad grammar through him off? The brief, concise, no commitment attached message wasn't CLEAR? For pity's sake!
So now I'm stunned, and angry. It's not like he has an excuse, he's seen the message. Maybe the intention of getting lunch didn't come across. I dare say eating no-crumb, barely messy, quite delicious food may be okaying a quick shot-gun marriage and agreeing to a life of child bearing and poverty.
Of course, I could be over exaggerating (I'm really into that). My friend thinks he may actually have a decent excuse. In the midst of the blablabla overlapping her condoning his evil plan to ruin my night sleep, I think I may have heard a "Well, maybe he likes you" that was quickly sent back to wherever it had come from.
Pity party aside, the thought of him feeling more than friendship is too terrorizing. It would mean that I have no brick wall to hide behind if this going-no-where-until-now-makeshift-relationship goes to hell. It would meant the butterflies in my stomach could stay there longer in stead of dropping dead after weeks of unrequited love.
OR, I'm making love scenarios in my head again, and the point of this story would be to make your list of potentials with more rigor and chose the one that's weak with women next time. Or become a nun. Or a hermit. It's up to you to decide.
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