He held me --softly
A hint of rage as well
I could not be all he hoped
He was my Spanish sun
He had thought me beauty in silence
I ran to him a fatherless child
He stripped--my religiosity
I wanted to connect the dots --
the ones on his body-- to see the
Before and after link
Lost snapshots in an ocean of un-wept tears
Curve of his lighted Camel
Tense elevator silence
Unnecessary cordial conversation
Mounting climax to -- Nothing
The Aftermath confused me still
His tanned skin cut by the white starched sheets
Sounds of late night brawls, midnight kisses
Coming from out there
Sleep would not make me drop
Into submission, street-lights and
His breathing were companions
But sleep I could not
He left two days next
Summer had been planned
In the fall he would be arrogant still
A touch of whimsical-mysterious in his hair
I tried to hide it, as long as I could
It came out all colors -- orange, green, yellow
Things unsaid, left unexplored
Though it's a shame I could not die and let go.
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