Motivation

as the vacuum sucks up

specks of unwanted dust

and my last aspirations 

i think to myself

"how will you save the world

when you are so lazy and tired?"

i tried coffee, which i drank at three

but it was quite late and i couldn't 

escape the pull of the pillow

i tried yoga for enhanced flexibility

both in mind and in spirit

but got bruises and sore muscles instead

i went to great lengths to find

motivation to work and slave 

and sweat and get to it

but i found no motivation at all

just an ice cream bucket

and a good romantic comedy

so that i could feel sorry 

for myself

Life: Gilmore Girls Metaphor

         I am currently watching the 15th episode of the last season of Gilmore Girls. This show has been my best girlfriend in my recent fall in the pit hole of lazy loafing and procrastination to avoid responsibility and the mountain of emotional distress and homework I have to face. It is with great regret that I will attempt to finish the entire show before the end of March Break, simultaneously doing my homework and extra work. It will be like the end of a life chapter, the lost of a friend, the end of an era of "Ha! I know what she's talking about !" and "OMG, what is she thinking doing that!". The show may be boring and slow and uneventful and without interest for others, but to me the jokes and metaphors are like a breath of fresh air in my daily routine of coffee and cigarettes. One of the metaphors comes from Luke's sister Liz : "They're meant for each other, but it's like they're in different time continuums. All they have to do is find the right wormhole."
        That's how I feel about my current relationship. I know that I feel powerful things for him and when we make eye contact and he smiles and I smile (yes normally a human reaction in the face of familiarity and whatnot, but please don't belittle my teenage love feelings) and I feel warm in the inside, I truly believe he feels it too. Yes it may be wishful thinking but for the sake of this story keep the doubts to yourself, will you? My point is, I've known him (of his existence anyhow) for 6 years, and I know he's liked me before (got me a red rose for Valentine's once) and we've been on-and-off friends and I refuse to believe there isn't something there. It just feels right. And added bonus, our kids would have the best afro ever. But seriously, I really want it to work out and I really hope that we end up finding a wormhole because this being in two different time continuums is really fucking up my sleep patterns. Better this metaphor than the over-used "star crossed lovers" shit.

And may I add that if anything is to be said about Romeo and Juliet's trials and tribulations, it's that they handle the situation pretty badly.

Life: Seduction 101

I seem to attract all the wrong people: either they're too young (and part of my family -- awkward) or too old (as in my same street neighbor (also very awkward). And I truly want the best for these people, and it's not even that my standards are high: I'm just not interested. My wish list isn't very long, and I've come to realize I am a sapiosexual : only attracted to peoples brains (I was going to be a Neurologist after all...). Anyhow, in the pursuit of a lovely boy Who-Does-Not-Know-My-Name (he does. he just never says it in a sexy way like in the movies) in France living his life and doing his thing, I'm here, poor little me, agonizing over his beautiful soul and blindness in regards to my awesomeness. And so, my friend L., wonderful teenage boy that he is, decided to give me a crash course in the art of getting a guy (any guy), to like me. Or marry me. If I ever choose to go down that road. And so...

*DRUM ROLL*

Seduction 101 was born.

Rule #1

Don't say "I love you"

I know you do. Good for you. Don't say it. Not before your 5th or 6th meeting/nightly encounter/date at the very least. Or he will run like a cheetah. Straight out of your arms. Imagine this: you are walking and a guy walks up to you and says, out of the blue "I love you". How do you feel? It doesn't matter. Your first reaction is to punch him in the face and run. See how this works? Exactly. (You should also be warned: saying "I truly and deeply appreciate your presence. Now, take your pants off and shut up" will have the same effect except coupled with a restraining order)

Rule #2

Distance is key. Not too close, not too far, like an egg toss. This is all about instincts baby. All about perception and your ability to adapt. Too close and he loses interest. He knows he has you in his pocket and his off to the next. Don't have that surprised look. It's simple human psychology. You'd probably do the same. Too far and he thinks you don't care aka he loses interest. You've moved on to better, greener places, and so will he. This is the hardest step, and yes, there will be failures. That's life. My advice? Sleeping is your best bet because (1) you get your beauty sleep, (2) you're not love-dead but (3) you're not awake to know of your misery. That makes for a perfect win-win-win.

Rule #3

Love is a game. All of this seduction stuff: it's all a game. The earlier you know this, the better. The right combination of buttons on your game controller makes for an instant bull's eye head shot and easy win. If you get killed on this battlefield, you lose. Easy as that. You should probably go practice with some Sonic, Mario or Zelda (COD for the true warriors, which I must admit I'm not).

Secret #1

This really surprised me. 

Looks don't count.

As in, as cheesy as this sounds, there is hope for all of us. Looks don't count when slaying vampires or zombies and don't inhibit your ability to have proper structure sentence instead of the infamous and always deadly "Hummmmmmmm". They don't count for your intelligence, your niceness, your ability to please. 

They can't stop you from player the game.

~o0o~***Challenge Accepted???***~o0o~

YES?                NO?

Life: Babysitting And Such...

By the time you've read the title, you are quite aware of what job position I've held for the past 4 days: that's right, I was a lovely, determined and caring member of the Babysitting Society. I had to wake up at 8:00AM every morning (7:45, if I wanted a little 15 minute personal yoga session with my Ipod), try not to miss the 9:00AM bus Est, and arrive at 10:00AM sharp, even after a quick Tim Hortons coffee and chocolate chip muffin. What did I do most of the time, you ask? What did I actually do these past 4 days, for a total of 24 hours (yes, a day!) of my life? Well, I played played hide and seek and manhunt, made (bland) ravioli, watched every imaginable Harry Potter movie (except the first because just no, and the seventh part 2 becasue they didn't have it -- terrible mistake: they weren't aware Harry Potter won at the end, surrounded by his friends (the ones that survive --DOBBBYYY :'( )  in a crumbling Hogwarts) went to Subway, played piano and played this game:

Which I lost. EVERY. TIME.

But the time was also educational. I exposed the young 8 and 11-year-olds too Macklemore...

"I touched the net. MAMMA I TOUCHED THE NET!!" is now a secret code too us, which I cannot share with you all for obvious reasons.

and One Direction.

This song has been playing non stop in my head for about 28 hours now. MAKE IT STOP!!!

Needless to say, I had so much fun the 288$ I made in the process were just an added bonus.